TO BE A MOTHER OR A MODEL? – Episode 3

\”When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.\”

Outfitted in matching Ankara outfits, Shola stood with his wife on the 3rd row to the left of the pulpit. It was a beautiful Sunday morning service in Joy Arena. The congressional hymn was often a high point of each Church service for Temi- she loved singing. However, today\’s hymn for some reason got her quite emotional.

Mama sat in the first row, reserved for the Elders. She looked at her son and his wife at the line \”…count your many blessings; name them one by one,…\”. Temi fought back the tears and planted a plastic smile on her face as she shut her eyes. \”Calm down, we\’re almost due- just about one week to go going by my EDD,\” she chided herself.

\”Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.\”

Temi felt the lyrics had been written to taunt her present predicament. She felt anything but blessed. Were striae gravidarum a blessing? How could oedema be a blessing? \”My modelling career is on the balance and you\’re asking me to count my blessings?\” Temi sat down wearily. She had begun to feel the symptoms of something her gynaecologist had warned her about. She had complained to Dr. Gideon about the stretch marks on her torso. \”Don\’t worry yourself into depression, my lady. Have your baby first. Your body can heal itself. Medical science is here to help too\”, the kind doctor had advised.

\”So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is overall.

Count your many blessings; angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one…\”

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Check for episodes 1 and 2 of MamaMata if you missed them.

TO BE A MOTHER OR A MODEL – Episode 2

\”Díẹ̀ díẹ̀ nimú ẹledẹ̀ẹ́fi ń wọgbà\” (Little by little is how the pig\’s nose enters the yard), Temi thought out loud to herself.

\”Sexy Mama\” was crooning from the TV in front of her, as images of a beautiful light-skinned African woman flashed intermittently in the music video. The artiste sang the praises of the \”Sexy Mama\” who had a newborn strapped to her back.

\”Mtchew!\”, hissed Temi as she watched a closeup shot of the lady\’s torso- so stretch marks free. She had a piece of cloth covering her chest and a short wrapper exposing flawless thighs. \”This used to be me,\” lamented Temi.

As though on cue, her baby kicked. Nothing painful, but Temi frowned as she rubbed her abdomen as though to soothe her baby. The music video was played as part of the closing montage for a TV show, Feminine World, which had begun to get Temi\’s attention recently. That day\’s episode had discussed major health issues some women faced during and after childbirth and how those health issues affected the lives of mothers long term.

Temi heard some new words- postpartum depression, hyperemesis gravidarum, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and vesicovaginal fistula. \”Why on Earth should the process of bringing a new human being into this world be at such a high risk for the gender who have been assigned such an arduous task?\”

Well, I will not be a victim to striae gravidarum, postpartum depression,
hyperemesis gravidarum, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, vesicovaginal fistula, and whatever else victimizes mothers.
\”Díẹ̀ díẹ̀ nimú ẹledẹ̀ẹ́fi ń wọgbà! So, I must start planning for my health as I plan for my baby\’s.\”

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Continue Reading Episode 3

TO BE A MOTHER OR A MODEL? – Episode 1

It was a beautiful baby shower. An expectant mother, Temi, and her husband, Shola, held hands as they strolled into their compound from the gate. They had just seen off the last of the guests- Temi\’s best friend, Folake, and her boyfriend, Jude. Shola was in high spirits and was gushing about how everyone was so expectant of their first baby\’s delivery due in two weeks (if Dr. Gideon\’s EDD was correct). Everyone but Temi as she couldn\’t shake off the thought that had begun to nag her for the past 3 months.

Being a mother couldn\’t mean she had to quit her career working as a model for VIP Modelling Agency or could it? Mr. Hobs, the Ghanaian who ran the agency, had assured her that he would reserve her place if she stayed trim after weaning her baby. Staying trim wasn\’t her problem. She hadn\’t gained more than 15 kg all through the pregnancy.

What bothered her were the lines- a lot of them- which had begun to show on her protruded belly from her diaphragm to her pubis. To make matters worse, nobody felt it was a big deal! Mama had laughed it off as \”Proud Mother Stripes.\” Dr. Gideon called them striae gravidarum- scars formed when the skin tears internally due to overstretching. And Shola? He just shrugged and said, \” No big deal; my Mum has stretch marks all over, thighs, breasts, arms, you\’ve not noticed?\” No offence but Mama can afford to look like a zebra for all I care; I can\’t!

The greetings from the Adebola\’s, the neighbors upstairs, brought Temi out if her reverie. \”Hi!🙋\”she waved up and smiled at Shola as he held open the door for her. \”I am not giving up on my career because I want to have a baby. There must be a medical solution for stretch marks. Striae gravidarum can\’t ruin my dreams\”, she resolved to herself as she stepped into her apartment.

As a new mother, what can Temi do? Don\’t miss the next episode as Temi makes a bold motherhood decision.

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Continue Reading Episode 2